last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
