I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
