I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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