the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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