Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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