I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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