I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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