So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
