he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
