Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
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He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
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I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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