I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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