So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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