He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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