So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
