NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize