you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
