just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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