sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
