Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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