my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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