you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
