I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
