I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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