Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You work out of a Hotel?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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