she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
