You're my little dorito
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
