then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
No subtext here. People are naked.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
