3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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