Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
