so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
