I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
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I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
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The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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