It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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