My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
