Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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