you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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