I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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