I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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