It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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