I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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