i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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