she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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