Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
