so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
