I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
