I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
and she was petting her beer can
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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