I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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