I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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