ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
