so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
