i would punch a child for taco bell
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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