Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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