Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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