i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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