At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
