you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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