"it" just moved
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
