If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
