You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize