he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
